Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
