the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
