making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
