She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
