YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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