Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
