He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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