I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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