hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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