spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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