Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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