so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
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