dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
