i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
