fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
