i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She announced her abortion via fbk
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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