So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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