the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
