i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
