I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
