Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
