Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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