Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
