There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
