So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize