so that wasnt chicken after all
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
