Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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