it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
