her vagine was all disorganized.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
