no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
