are you still at the devil's house?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How does it feel to date your dad?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
