who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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