i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
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I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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