there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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