his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
