is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
third nipple confirmed
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
