it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
