physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
