I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
