I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
