found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
