Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She bit a glass in half.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't deserve a penis
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
