No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
