Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
