hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
