remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Bring me that man meat
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
