how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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