So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
