I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
