Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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