Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
