Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
