there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
