i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize