the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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