Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
