Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
high people should be assigned attendants
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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