Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now

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(931): View more from Tennessee

there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.

Fav 27 1165 2123
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(803): View more from South Carolina

worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

Fav 28 982 3378
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now

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(541): View more from Oregon

Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.

Fav 10 4208 1002
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(703): View more from Virginia

I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.

Fav 11 3114 2263
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(256): View more from Alabama

Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment

Fav 20 3182 1578
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(909): View more from California

I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.

(1-909): View more from California

Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.

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(530): View more from California

I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that

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