okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
