They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
